Weakness or strength ?

Its 11 pm .. sitting at balcony , feeling cold , wishing to drink a cup of coffee but its too late , wish to smoke buts its unhealthy !

wearing headphones and listening to sad music and i know it wont solve anything just ruining mood …

trying to dance or paint but i found myself writing ..

i like to dance but i remember that painting was the best thing i loved to do .. now i want to be a dancer ..contemporary dance

But still .. i cant even make a sound

Is it cold ? or sadness .. i’m trembling but i know its not cold

actually i have no mood to write .. someone is killing me right now .. next to me screaming and complaining .. waiting for answers and i dont know whats happening .. words and thoughts are flying and i cant catch them , i feel lost

i feel weak but people say im strong .. also when i feel strong they say im weak

I dont know whats going on .. people and past are following me everywhere .. everytime

I always escape from my past

from those people who made me hate love , family , trust and safety

while they should give me all of that .. i dont know if i really hate them or just hurt

im wondering if i met them one day .. can i forgive them or no .. cani just forget about past …!

i cant .. i feel that i cant even listen to their names

i feel sick and trembling and just scream ..

so is it fear ? weakness ?

then im not strong enough to face them

tears are falling so hard but im trying my best to keep them

im freezing right now .. so what is it??

you always want to be a happy and possitive person but this thing always following you ..

you cant stop living your life and be sad

but the problem isnt sadness

the problem is that you dont know what do you feel … i dont know too ..

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2 thoughts on “Weakness or strength ?

  1. The moment you acknowledge your fear is the same moment you become a strong person. You’re not denying your emotions anymore that you are strong enough to understand that fear is creeping in your foot. You are indeed a strong woman. That’s how I see you after our very short interaction. You have quite an experience for a tender age like yours. It’s a manifestation of the strength inside you.

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  2. The moment you acknowledge your fear is the same moment that you become a stronger you. After our very short interaction, I have seen how strong you are as a woman who stands on principles a woman to be admire for the cause she is fighting for. Cheer up! There are many people who would like to see your smile.

    Like

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